Do you think of safety when leaving your home or castle?

Please boost, vote twice and pass it on, this is all to open discussion

Hugz & xXx

P.s. as a trans, I always think of safety before leaving the castle, I also know there is a higher chance that i will be in a unsafe situation

  • No (37%, 174 votes)
  • Yes cis male (21%, 99 votes)
  • Yes cis female (15%, 72 votes)
  • Yes trans, non binary, non conforming etc. (26%, 124 votes)
469 voters. Poll end: 20 hours ago

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in reply to Melissa BearTrix

I’m concerned for everyone else’s safety but not so much my own. I do get concerned about the consequences for my family and friends if I was to get hurt.

I’m sure the fact that I’m a large white cis man contributes. I think my form of ADHD contributes more. In a crisis I get calmer and more focused.

I used to love the deep wide area focus I experienced flying hang gliders years ago, especially when taking off and landing.

makertube.net/w/7FAqjjSoHqDZM4…

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in reply to Stephen Bannasch (316 ppm)

More thoughts about safety.

With the rise of virulent fascism in the US I do wonder more about my safety.

I can’t accept bullying.

When the ICE domestic terrorists come to my community I won’t let them hurt folks. I will block them. At the same time I know they are trigger happy goons and all I have is my willingness to stand in front of them. They might well shoot me.

I am very concerned how that will affect my family and friends.

This entry was edited (1 day ago)
in reply to Melissa BearTrix

Just like any other woman, I have to always be aware of my safety when going out. I carry my keys in my hand. If you know, you know...

When I could present as a dude, nobody touched me. I also learned the skill of being the fastest runner to avoid bullying, but never competed as I despised the hell out of competitive sports.

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in reply to Melissa BearTrix

As a cis male with some kind of strong build, I'm rarely concerned about safety, and despite this once I got followed by two guys who wanted to beat the shit out of me because reasons (they mentioned some vague improper driving style, which was probably false).

I managed to evade the confrontation by locking myself in my car.

That was a scary experience, but it didn't leave any kind of trauma, and I still feel safe when outside.

This always makes me think about privilege.

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in reply to Melissa BearTrix

cis male but brown - I've *constantly* got personal safety in the back of my mind, whilst on the street, when driving, at social events.

I did use to be a raver so was previously in a lot of places with heavy drug and alcohol use - whilst 95% of people in those circles are cool, there's 5% who are not and although I'm older and sober now, the situations you encountered on that scene stay with you..

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in reply to Melissa BearTrix

I haven't been anywhere other than shopping and medical appointments (mine and other people's), in my car, for a long time, so the biggest risk is collision.

But my wife's gynecologist needs security staff guarding the access elevator, because they perform abortions in the clinic.

Now increased to guards outside his office door because he is originally Iranian.

in reply to Melissa BearTrix

Brief, non-graphic description of physical assault/murder

Sensitive content

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in reply to David

Brief, non-graphic description of physical assault/murder

Sensitive content

in reply to Melissa BearTrix

The times I have felt unsafe have been...

around the cinemas on George St in the city at night with lots of loud idiots making noise.

After the MG parade when walking back down the route the crowd suddenly feels like "lets bash a freak"

In Annandale one night when walking with B and someone threw an egg at us from a car, and another car had people call us faggots

Bear in mind, I am a big white guy, like... The sort most people would look at and give way to, despite generally being a complete pussy

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in reply to Melissa BearTrix

My stress concerning going out is less than it used to be because I pass better, yet I still assess the risks and will sometimes carry tear gas (bought after I got assaulted).

Please do not use "trans" without an accompanying noun as it gives the wrong message. Numerous people will not understand you mean "a trans person of whatever gender/sex" and will instead take it as "oh you're a transgender". It's not great either semantically or politically.

in reply to Melissa BearTrix

As a cis gay man, yes, I think about my safety a lot in a Republican dominated state.

I use a scale of: As a man, could I wear programming socks and a skirt to this location?*

Oftentimes, the answer cannot reach a quantified yes or a barely yes. Due to the fact in transit, the level of danger or safety is in even greater flux.

*(No, this isn't actually my egg beginning to crack. I do find it surreal that if a man exercises the freewill to wear a skirt, colorful stockings, and cute shoes in public...That gets a disproportional and often hostile reaction. Instead of being leery of open carry individuals that I find to be far more unsettling).

in reply to Melissa BearTrix

yes, cis female. Always think of safety before i leave home. Sometimes just little things like making sure all the car doors are locked before i drive off. And looking out for things that seem dodgy/potentially so and avoiding those if possible. Like people with raised voices, intense gestures or swearing (not the conversational kind).

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in reply to Melissa BearTrix

@Melissa BearTrix Over here, we say good morning to each other no matter the race, skin color, religion or sexual preference (I'm straight btw) So no, totally not as a man I can go out even when there are some thugz trying to get me.
I'm friendly and cool and all regard disabled ones as friends and help people but don't fuck with me as it reflects on social media in real life I can be way meaner.
Mostly when I was younger..

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in reply to Melissa BearTrix

@Melissa BearTrix Punch fascist bullies to hospital.
If you knew how much I sent there.. diagnosed with broken chin or eyelid etc and teeth> so they had a problem with their face..

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in reply to Melissa BearTrix

@Melissa BearTrix The secret of breaking things is to hit repeatedly and very hard on the same spot, head knucks and punches. Also I do this only if attacked or to protect another disabled against a troop> take the biggest of them and bring him down and the rest will flee.
I was also trained in boksing from my 13 years old by the National Champ at that era which was my father in law.
Importance is to be good to non fasco's all the rest of the people love me.

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in reply to Melissa BearTrix

@Melissa BearTrix But do good to normal people and help, then law can not judge you in such incidents mostly not if they aggressed an old woman or a disabled or a trans.
Also I know some Trans that were Special Forces in the Military or para troopers before > against those as well they get the same faith.(The fascist haters)

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in reply to chestas

friendica (DFRN) - Link to source

Plan-A

 — (0.0.0.0)

@chestas @Melissa BearTrix Been there over West EU in the most dangerous cities when I was young as well and indeed there was the case that I was stabbed once in my left lung sack, but worse is prison.

Because the IcePicker they used did not tpuched near heart or got into lungs without my knowledge next morning when I fell ko and was in hospital 2 federal agents asking me what happened , I faked a sleep then pulled out all those wires attached to my body and they came in with 20 men are you crazy? No I want to leave I felt ok and was putting my pants on to leave, had to sign on own responsibilty paper but the guy that stabbed me had to move to another city.

Went back as they were 3 with my rednose stafford and a real knife next morning I broke the principle door with kicks and went to kick his door until I heard sirens of cops and ran away.

My T-shirt was red from blood as my Jeans etc as I got out hospital and immediately went home to get my dog and take the knive to go his home.

I was pretty pissed and had a clap lung

He really moved to another city and with 1 of the 2 others I had a bigger misery years later.
As at that moment you can't recall what exactly happened or who they were but I knew where it happened was at his door.
In an apartment
I walked to hospital and fell ko in front of Urgency department
You don't feel the stab, you feel the blood draining away from your body, thick blood and as such I walked 1200 meters to closest hospital. Instead calling in Ambulance... I risked my life in a dangerous way just to get back to that peanut that moved from fear to dunno where.

Once i saw the blood I started to shake (shock) but walked it all trough.

If he would open that door when I was kicking I swear he would be dead and the 2 others half eaten by my dog.
He had put furniture behind his door so I could not get in but calls the cops as panic and the 2 others were long away.

Big City life.

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in reply to Melissa BearTrix

At the place I'm living, nobody has to think about safety, beside not getting run over in traffic.
In the city, there were rare occasions, when I was downtown at night, mostly when the local Wies'n festival was taking place, that I avoided some dark corners. Too many too drunk people around...
This may be not the case in very big cities. Or some counties in the former GDR areas.

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in reply to Melissa BearTrix

I know too many cis women who'd say no, but still automatically put their keys in their hands before walking to their car, or choose the lit side of the street over the dark - but they don't even grok that they're doing it.

So yes, even in my safe, comfortable, I know my neighbours neighborhood.

I'm not walking around constantly afraid, but I am observant.

This entry was edited (18 hours ago)

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