Where I used to live there was a Japanese woman in my friend group named Mami, and I felt awkward saying her name.

But feeling awkward is pretty typical for me.

Bro / Sir / Man / Dude / Guy / Mister

Like, I'd kill for a man to call me any of the things you listed.

Addendum: Bro and dude

(And then to be outraged when I call them out.)

I’m going to make a face and nope pretty hard with any term of endearment that feels unearned.

Like if I’m being called a goddess, that supplicant better be actively in the process of dutiful worship.

And if I’m getting angel’d and they’re not trembling in awe and not a small amount of fear, then they’re clearly being disingenuous.

Also, point of… whatever:

getting a “hey mami” hits with distinctly less maternal ick than mommy/momma. I mean, I still don’t wanna, but it’s WAY less icky. 😅

I think I’ve only really been called “dear” or “honey” by older women in like government offices and I have to admit I love it.

But being addressed by men is basically universally disgusting. One of my favorite things about walking about with children is I am just no longer perceived at all. Glorious.

def not that target here, but if I ever hear a dude call a woman "Mommy" that is not actually his mom, we are going to have words.

That is just creepy. I mean most of the list can be creepy with very little effort, and I will likely have words in those cases, but Mommy is right there at the top. Just ewww.

i don't get out enough in fem-presenting mode to get much of this kind of attention, but i'm picturing a cis guy i don't know calling me any of these, and..

i can honestly say holy shit i hate that. i feel icky just picturing it. "girl" and "lady" and maybe "honey" might be relatively acceptable, but the rest of them, oof D:

In the series "The Prick", the main character consistently calls his wife "Mammy" as a term of "endearment".

It is sooo creepy and cringy.

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'love' is definitely a British thing men say a lot. Whether as a greeting like 'alright love' or to smooth a directive like 'sign there love' or as an outright prick move like 'cheer up love!'

I hate hate hate it. I always call them love back but with a subtle sneer.

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Pfffffff goddess/queen/empress is the ONLY way a guy should ever address me

(no I hate every single one on the list)

My kid calls me Momma. There is nothing¹ sexy about that term to me.

I think an interesting upshot here is that I'd be a lot more permissive with what a femme person calls me.

I have opinions™ about "Darling²". I think it's a fine and dandy gender neutral term for anyone I'm on vaguely good terms with. I accept that I'm weird and don't use it as freely as I'd like.

¹My wife gets an exception for complimenting my parenting. Compliments are hot.

²Imagine Morticia Adams saying it.

I've never had a white guy call me "momma/mommy" do they even do that? I think I'd mostly be confounded if that happened.

From guys who aren't white it doesn't bug me. Though context and tone are key.

Thinking more about it "Love" is bad news. No matter who says that one.

Results: It's interesting that the most hated are the most commonly used. Is this cause or effect?

Do we hate them because we hear them all the time?

Or do men use them because they can tell that we hate them?

@ai6yr it would still be misgendering someone like me, but it's better than "hey guys", so 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'd prefer folx just skip the gendered terms unless they know the person prefers them (e.g. they actually *know* the person and their preference).

@NilaJones