Currently having one of those #onesided #autistic #conversations with #myself where I think the #worst and start and #argument in my #head. You know, #scripting ahead of time, except on full-throttle #doomscroll mode down some #obscure fear cycle I have going on.

I am currently having a screaming match at some government #official, leaving my wife because she is being too passive and not supporting me against the #bureaucracy, trying to book a flight and work out how to get all my possessions to the other side of the world and what the fuck to do when I get there.

I think I'm having a full on #meltdown in my head about something that didn't happen, probably won't happen but #scares me if it does.

This is all triggered by a letter of referral in a sealed envelope.

The letter is for a specific hospital. However, I have "another" clinic supporting me and attempting to get me screened for #neurological damage that my first hospital DID.NOT.DO.

To do this,the second clinic (who are actually on the ball and pushing to support me) had to open the envelope. This "potentially" invalidates the referral.

Yes. It is that fucking ass backward.

Now I type it out it sounds a bit pathetic. I'm worrying about going to a rehab visit on Saturday to try and get support from a department that the letter (mentioned above) is not actually addressed to.

But hey. Brains gonna brain, yo.