In fact the "young people are having less sex" stat is normally reported alongside similar stats showing smoking tobacco and drinking are less popular.

I've only once seen it alongside the marriage stat... which is odd isn't it? At least if you were expecting reporting to reflect "traditional values."

I also suspect some young people aren't dating or getting married or even going on vacation or having a drink ... because they are BROKE and working their fingers to the bone to survive.

@minmi

“I had kids with this man and then he got overwhelmed by what it takes to parent and turned into an additional child to take care of”

Tale as old as time.

Being a parent is a lot.

I'm single, have been for 15 years, and have no plans on a relationship. I'm not lonely, and find the whole concept of a male loneliness epidemic to be a pile of crap. Women have standards, and if these men can't meet those standards, the problem is with them, not women.

It's funny, because the premise seems to be that loneliness is exclusively a cis male phenomenon, and that it is based on sexual relationships, when really, everyone can be lonely, and for far more relationships than sexual ones. Another misogynistic tell, in my opinion. Lonely? Why not have some male friends? Because you are not lonely. You are sexually frustrated.

@minmi

i've heard more than once after a woman divorces a man-child

'i knew being a single parent would be difficult, but it is so much easier not having a grown man wanting me to be his maid, cook and mommy thwarting me at every turn'

paraphrasing of course, but that is the gist of it

@thesquirrelfish @GinevraCat

That brings it back to economics IMO.

I'm in my nearly mid 30s. My wife turns 30 today. We waited on a lot of things, including children, because we could not afford them, both time and money.

I see my younger brother struggling to enter the dating pool, which I think is tied to how our society and its interaction within and without itself has changed in the last 20-30 years. I remember the times before cell phones and internet. It's just too easy to stay in and be plugged in. Like a dopamine drip.

@Grumbleshroom

I hope someday you can look back on how you spent your time on a nice Saturday (trying to be a jackass on the internet) and you can have the maturity and perspective to feel regret about not doing something better with this limited time we each have on this earth. You could be learning about nature! Studying math! Calling a friend! Falling in love! Writing a book!

But instead you did this.

I want that kind of growth for you. This is really pathetic.

@thesquirrelfish @GinevraCat I find amongst younger people there seem to be fewer long term relationships and people wait until late 20s/early 30s to have children.

Also way fewer children for last 20 years, I was in the Maternity Ward building of the general hospital earlier this year (it has 9 floors and is one of the tallest in town so we put up an antenna and installed a new transmitter for the community radio station) and only 2-3 floors of it are now in regular use ..

I know three siblings in that age range, two of whom are in long term committed relationships, who have expressed a strict unwillingness to get married.

Why? Because their mom was awful and they saw what their dad had to get through in order to get away from her. Now they’re happy, the mom’s out of the picture, and the dad’s free. But it took decades.

I can see why kids witnessing people suffering broken marriages and messy divorces might sour on the idea of marriage.

@claralistensprechen5th

I know I shouldn't tap the glass, but they just are so easy. But... thanks mom. I'll stop now.

@claralistensprechen5th

I mean, sometimes I don't want to just ignore and block because every now and then someone will tell me "there's no racism on the fediverse" and well it's not true.

However it's generally very effective to just ignore and block and or mute.

@dlakelan

It's embarrassing for everyone.

@vfrmedia

Come to the Bronx we have kids up to our eyeballs.

@vfrmedia @thesquirrelfish @GinevraCat Wild statistic, but it kinda checks out around here as well. Maternity wards are smaller and according to friends of mine with kids, the level of care/service/time the parent + baby spends in the maternity ward has gone way down as well.

Almost no one I know has kids because childhood in the USA is so miserable (and dangerous) that it's hard to get excited about dooming someone else to it.

@sidereal @thesquirrelfish @GinevraCat

I have hybrid working and drive to the office in the afternoon, there are noticeably fewer children around (even at school finishing times) and even during summer holidays I didn't notice that many in my street or the surrounding areas). A mutual from Germany said the same thing has happened in his area (and its likely common throughout Northern Europe)

@ErickaSimone

Yeah. Thanks for asking!

So my anecdata to add as someone smack dab in the middle of the age range you stated with both older and younger friends who also fall in that range:

For my wife and I's friends, almost all are unmarried, and the friends who are married seem to be going strong. The few people I know who are divorced had extremely toxic relationships that needed to end. So it seems people are focusing on healthier relationships above all else romantically.

I have observed people generally are really insulated and not going out and spending time with others. Even the middle school and high school in town at release time have next to nobody walking or biking home, and everyone's driving cars, and very few people are hanging out in public afterwards.

My friends are slow to schedule get togethers but we chat regularly digitally. I think everyone having computers to communicate on and provide constant dopamine drips and entertainment is making its effect on society right now and research is starting to show it.

@dlakelan Not that this is going to make you feel much better, but that instance (decayable.ink) is a known, disgustingly racist, anti-LGBTQ troll farm.

This server has defederated from it and so have many others. I had to use a webpage, logged out, to see their posts.

Sorry you had to experience this. Some folks are just scum and will probably never change. 😔

Dr. Tressie McMillan Cottom had a really good post the other day about the 'male loneliness' 'crisis' where she observed how the patriarchy creates a social crisis (which demands empathy) out of a personal failing (ie, dudes lack basic social skills and their political/social values aren't hitting it on the marketplace of getting laid).

In the same studies identifying this male loneliness, she saw women are also lonely but funny how that hasn't risen to 'crisis' level.

@thesquirrelfish @claralistensprechen5th @GinevraCat This is literally why I'm not married - if I marry my life-partner of 15 years and counting, she loses her insurance, disability benefits, and I become liable for her defaulted student loans.

It would be a huge financial hit.

@claralistensprechen5th

The reporting is key, and showing us this so that we can also report it.

Although when I tried to go to their account to do so, their instance is already blocked by mas.to.

@claralistensprechen5th

Oh and as I should have absolutely said first I am so sorry. You are a treasure and deserve all the flowers and it's disheartening to see this kind of thing but I know it's out there but I'm sorry.